Life Lessons from my leading ladies

International Women's Day! 

I am incredibly lucky to have been blessed with many wonderful women in my life, each having taught me what it is to be a strong, independent women. Here are five of the most valuable lessons I have learnt from the women around me. 

Mum- The Importance of Strength and Determination 

When asked who my biggest inspiration was as a little girl, I would list off an array girl band member, but it was only as a grew older I realised that my greatest idol lived right under my roof with me. Having a child at such a young age does not come without difficulty, but when I look at the life my Mum has given me, I realise anything is possible. She is the strongest and most determined woman I have ever met. 

Now when I am asked who my biggest inspiration is, I list off every one of my Mum's characteristics. She has taught me what it is to be kind, but resilient, to be independent but to also never be scared to ask for help. There is nobody else I would ever wish to be like.  

Nanna- The Importance of Self- Love

It is true that life throws you some pretty big curve balls but how you get through them is a massive testament to your character. My Nanna has taught me what it is to be strong, even on your weakest of days. Equally, she has taught me how important it is to celebrate every single one of your victories. I believe she is the reason I am a happy person because I can now recognise my achievements as well as my losses and no longer so the glass half empty, but full. 

*Just a side note - if you want to be wrinkle free, stop smoking. Nanna is 54 and there is not one line on her face. Very valuable lesson for all.  

Grandma- The Importance of Selflessness 

My Grandma, Liz, is one of the rare few who's life has been completely devoted to other people. Having been an NHS nurse her entire adult life and raising a family simultaneously, my Grandma is my hero. I can honestly say in my entire life, I have not ever heard her moan- not once. She is so grateful for everything and everyone she has. I can only hope that as I grow older, I continue to be as thankful for every day as she is and find ways that I can help others, as she has. 

Chloe- The Importance of Kindness 

When I was a little girl, I used to look up at Chloe and hope to be just like her when I was grown-up. I was, and still am, infatuated with her kindness and her grace. It is so important in this life to be kind to everybody because you really have no idea what anyone is going through. Chloe has the ability to make anybody feel comfortable in her presence - a warmth I only hope to master one day. With only five years between us, I thought I would eventually catch up but, it turns out that not everybody can be so "Chloe".  

Anna - The Importance of Friendship 

Having a Mum who is so close to her friends is a massive plus in life. You are kind of born with many honorary aunts - one of which is my Mum's best friend, Anna. Anna is a pretty big deal in the corporate banking world and has taught me that no matter what life throws at you, you can get anything you want when you set your mind to it. I have also learnt a lot about what is to be a brilliant friend from the women in my Mum's life. I think they are why I hold my friends so dearly. Boyfriends do come and go but true friendship stands the test of time. No matter how far away my friends move, I will continue to be there for them just as Mum's friends are for her

Five things i have learnt working front of house full-time

This is not some confessional, tell all on my work place but five general tips and tricks I have learnt from working full-time in hospitality. I also thought it was quite fitting seen as we have just been told come early April we may be able to sit round the pub table with our friends once more- yay!

 1) You need to love the place 

This is super important. I think the reason people see hospitality as stop-gap rather than something that can really benefit your career or be your career full stop - is because they don’t enjoy the pub or bar etc etc that they work in. It is true when they say you can love your job but not enjoy where you work. Hospitality, although a sociable job, doesn’t offer sociable hours. You end up spending a hell of a lot of time with the people you work with so its pretty vital you actually like them. Who else is down for Sunday fun day on a school night! 

Whereas many can clock out at 17.00 , go home and it not cause total chaos. If you’re supposed to finish at 23.00 but the pub is crazy busy, you’re not going anywhere. You can't just pick up someones meal again tomorrow, people are paying good money for this experience and to ruin that would ultimately damage the pub's rep. And, that would make you a pretty crappy employee. Because of this, you end up spending a lot more time in those walls than originally planned. It is worth it though, finishing a crazy shift leaves you feeling fab and it goes so quickly - you'll blink and it'll be over. 

2) Invest in heavy duty concealer

This is no joke - especially during Christmas. And, god forbid the government ever pulls another Eat Out To Help Out, it wasn't fun, I cannot lie.  Whereas most jobs leave you feeling pretty mentally drained... funny that is just a given. Chuck physical exhaustion in to the mix and you get a pretty sleepy person. Now, I am not claiming my steps equate to walking Everest every day but it is bloody close. I defiantly hit my 10,000. 

The late nights are no joke either. We may start later than your average 9-5 but it is no walk in the park. However, I can promise you will forget all about the tiredness when you finish a bloody lovely shift and sit down for a drink at the end of the day. You'll cheers to making it through that day and look forward to the next.

3) Sunday fundays are essential

You might of heard of Sundays being the Friday night for those who work in hospitality. That’s because Mondays are generally quieter so having a few drinks isn’t the end of the world. Luckily enough for me I generally get Monday and Tuesdays off, so I tend to drink a few bottles instead. 

What I am saying is, enjoy the time off that you get. Yes it may be a Monday and Tuesday but you need to enjoy it like everyone else does otherwise, what is the point of having time off? That is your weekend so: lay in, go to the gym , go out for dinner, have a few too many drinks - do it all.

Trust me, if you ask a friend who works a 9-5 if they fancy a midweek drink, they will almost certainly say yes. Hannah and I love a drink on a school night, she always starts with her usual spiel, "I cant drink too much I've got a meeting tomorrow"- and the next thing you know she’s the one refusing to leave or throwing up the second her feet are off the train and on the platform. Now, whilst this might make a really crappy friend, the hangover lasts a day and the memories last forever. That’s what the say right...? 

4) Go home on your split  

Dreaded splits. No one loves them but they are the reality when you work in a super busy pub. I spent the first few months staying at the pub during my split- I'd meet a friend, have some food and maybe a small glass of vino. Now as fun and convenient as this is, it is important to get some space. As previously mentioned, you spend a lot of time where you work and as much as you might love it, sometimes you can get too much of a good thing. Either go to a different pub or cafe - or just go home. However, if you do decide to do the latter, do not go to sleep! You will wake up feeling groggier, or worse you might not wake up at all. Its not fun being late, it is really awkward. Put your feet up, yes, but make sure you're drinking coffee whilst catching up with the telly.

5) The customer isn’t always right

I cant stress enough that the majority of people I have served are bloody gorgeous. Some, I have stopped in the street to talk to and built a genuine rapport with. However, just because the main cruxes of your job spec is to ensure you’re delivering top-notch levels of service, does not mean everyone deserves it. 

Working in hospitality of course means that at some point you’ve got to deal with a few complaints, some are totally valid. However, if said complaint becomes personal or they are refusing to give it up after you have done everything possible, it is totally okay to stand up for yourself. If you don’t like the way someone is talking to you, you must tell them. Just because you are young and working in a service position, does not make you any less intelligent than the next person and no one should make you feel as though you are. In fact, it makes you very emotionally intelligent, which is something most lack. 

I’m not saying go out of your way to be rude to them to, never stoop to their level. What I am saying is, if  you’ve been through the niceties after a complaint and they continue on their tirade, you should stand your ground. And, if you’re worried about what management might think if you do this, you’re working for the wrong people. 

Overall, deferring for a year at uni and finding my feet within hospitality was one of the best decisions I ever made. Pursuing a career in hospitality wherever it be front of house or turning that passion into a 9-5, is something I will continue to advocate for the rest of my life. I have learnt what it is to juggle 8924 things at once and build genuine relationships with the people I work with and customers alike. 

So, get excited to be back in the hustle and bustle of a busy pub, because it is not long now people! And, when you are there, make sure you appreciate those working hard to make your first experience back as memorable as it can be.

First round is on me!

Abbie x 

Why It Is So Important To Support Your Friend's Side Hustle.

                                                                                

Georgia and I met on the first day of secondary school, we had turned up with matching daisy hair grips and obviously became the best of friends. We were practically glued at the hip for the first few years, she played a big part in some of the most important times during my teens. As with all friendships, the dynamic of our relationship has changed as we have. So, while I am no longer calling her at 1 am about a boy she has managed to palm me off on, the one thing that remains a constant is our unwavering support of everything each other does, however questionable. 

That is why when she launched Dressed up by Gee, I was nothing but proud of her drive and determination. As well as working her 9-5 as a Treasury Assistant, I know so grown...G set up her retail business in April so that she had something to focus on and to give her the boost she needed to beat the lock-down blues. Her love for fashion and genuine passion for styling is evident throughout her Instagram feed, that boasts nearly 2000 followers.

As well as earning her a few extra $$$, G has learnt what it is to be a young business woman in a pretty competitive environment. And, while it may not be for everyone, it has taught her a lot of life skills that school seems to dodge. Such as how to do her tax return, invest her finances and budgeting. 

Having a side hustle is an increasingly popular way to make extra money while also following your passions. Side-hustling is currently more common among men than among women. With 30 percent of men earning extra cash on the side compared to 21% of women. I worry the reason for this is that women are concerned people won’t support their project or think others will look down on them for wanting/needing a second source of income. Or worse, maybe women don't believe they could create a successful side hustle from scratch. By supporting your friend's businesses, you are not only helping them to chuck more money in their savings, but you should know that you are helping them feel incredibly empowered too. With every sale, click on our website and follow of our social media page, you are helping us to pursue our dreams and better our futures. Now more than ever, it is so important to support young women in business. So, ladies, let’s build each other up and close that gap.

Although G doesn’t have her own boutique on the high street just yet, who is to say that she won’t get there eventually. By supporting her business now, you could help to breathe new life into our high street. This is important because small businesses provide opportunities for entrepreneurs and create meaningful jobs with greater job satisfaction than positions with larger companies. They also encourage local economies, keeping money close to home that can support smaller communities.

If you have taken inspo from this post and want to start your own project then G does have a couple of pieces of advice. Firstly, do your research. She highlighted to me just how competitive the retail industry can be when she explained: “There are other boutiques online selling similar items so it is important you create a USP for your brand and invest time into your social media, in order to stand out”. If you think running your own business is a walk in the park G reaffirms that: “it takes time, commitment and the ability to deal with knock backs. Especially on a day with fewer sales, it is trial and error but the end result is so worth it”.

I thought it would be fun for G and I to create a little look book of all our favourite pieces. However, I am leaving the modelling to the professionals this time...

 

One of Georgia's favourite combos. Shop the Light Khaki Nelly Fur and Riri Bandage Dress on her page.

One of my favourite outfits on G's page. I would chuck a pair of tights and heeled Chelsea boots on in the winter or a strappy top and sandals when it is a bit warmer. 

G also stocks gorgeous gym sets for those lock down workouts we are all doing...right?

Get your paws on this gorgeous gilet, you will be toasty and look tasty. 

So, happy shopping my loves and a massive well done to my mega talented friend.

And, here's to women trying to make a name for themselves and working double hard to get there, we've got this.

Abbie x

A Sleep Story

How I manage restless nights. 

If you think you are the only person to stare at the ceiling until silly o'clock every evening- you’re not. In 2017 a study found one in three adults suffer from sleepless nights. That’s as many as 16 million people, in the UK alone. Anxiety, stress, and depression are some of the most common causes of chronic insomnia. Having difficulty sleeping can also make these a whole lot worse, it is one big cycle of b*tch. 

I wish I could refer to my restless nights in the past tense but they are still very much in the present. However, I thought it might be useful for you guys to read what it is that keeps me tossing and turning, so you don’t feel so alone in your head tonight. Here is just one of the plethora of ridiculous examples of my over active brain and how I have come to shut off these thoughts in order to aid a gorgeous nights sleep. 

Like most, the prospect of my future keeps me up most evenings. More specifically, my career and if I will ever feel truly fulfilled in what I eventually end up in. My relentless need to impress people has often left me feeling quite unimpressed with myself. It is funny really, because I know people are too wrapped up in their own lives to give a sh*t about mine. But, 2 am me manages to convince herself that my friends all think I am a total mess because I don't work a 9-5 in an office. 

In the short time this blog has been live I can see that my main demographic is 18-24. One thing I continue to tell myself, and now you, is that we are really quite small still and have got a lot more f*ck ups coming our way, so there is absolutely no point stressing about what people think about where you are at now or even where you will be at thirty. However, if like me, rational thinking is not your cup of tea, then here are some other things I do in order to catch some zzzz’s.

      1) Watch a TV Show you are really familiar with

I’ve found that when thoughts such as the above come crawling their way in, listening to a show you know inside out is a great way of blocking them out. My go-to is Friends, you wont feel the need to stay up and watch because you already know what is going to happen. With the brightness of your phone and volume turned down, you can concentrate on the words and not on your thoughts. However, I wouldn’t suggest this one when you’re sharing a bed. As it turns out, not everyone is as big as a fan of Friends as me. And if Logan has to listen to The One Where Ross and Rachel Take a Break one more time, I think we might actually end up on break. 

2) Anatomical's Sleep Balm

Santa Claus gifted me this little pot of dreams for Christmas and it is by far one of the best gifts I have found in my stocking to date. This relaxing balm with lavender and natural waxes will help you to close your eyes and keep them shut. Simply rub it in to your temples and pulse points, put your phone down and get ready for the dreamiest of snoozes. At £4 a pot, you may as well give it a go. I'll leave the link Santa used below.  

For Sleep Balm- https://anatomicals.co.uk/products/cruisin-for-a-snoozin-sleep-balm

3)  Write down everything that is troubling you 

Another tip would be to write down everything that is worrying you that evening. There is something really therapeutic about writing things down and then shutting the book on them. Instead of these thoughts taking up space in your brain, they are neatly tucked away somewhere else for you to tackle tomorrow. Writing things down can help keep your mind uncluttered and reaffirm what is important to you. This will also help to be more organised and balanced, which is a great way to feel less stressed- and this is always a plus. 

Obviously I am no expert. So, if you are looking for some more info then head to the Sleep Junkie website for all your sleep related queries. Also, feel free to share your remedies in the comments below.  And obviously, if it gets really bad, please reach out to your doctor. 

Sweet dreams, 

Abbie x

February's Monthly-Must Haves

                                         Beauty Pie's Super Healthy Skin Cleanser

I would love to say I was the type who was religious about removing my makeup after a night out, but if I did, my pants would probably burst into flames. I am definitely guilty of finishing a late shift and crawling into bed with what is left of that days foundation smeared across my face. However, lock down has left me no choice but to start taking better care of my skin, after all, I can no longer blame the split shift or shite Spoons Pinot for the cause of my poor, dehydrated mug.

On my hunt for a glowy complexion I was gifted Beauty Pie’s Super Healthy Skin Cleanser. The beauty brand describe it as the ultimate deep-pore clearing, super-clay foaming cleanser that gives you a spa clean complexion, and they aren't fibbing. With one wash my skin instantly appeared brighter and, unlike most clay based cleansers i have tried, it didn’t leave my skin feeling tight or needing to be caked in moisturiser. The cleanser also doubles up as mask so you don’t need to faff about looking for one, meaning it is kind to your pockets as well as your face.

The ingredients are pretty delicious too. Kaolin absorbs excess oils, so is great for those of us who struggle with an oily t-zone. And it doesn’t include fragrance or parabens, which means it is really gentle as well! 

So, what is beauty pie and why is it so fabulous? Well, Beauty pie was founded by the super women that is Marcia Kilgore and it is a part of a new wave of brands set to take the beauty industry by storm. It’s a subscription service that gives members access to luxury cosmetics at factory prices – and it’s not too good to be true. You can buy their beauty products without a subscription as well and it still wont break the bank. So, go on and have a little nose, fill up that basket and thank me later. 

For Beauty Pie - https://www.beautypie.com/bestsellers

For my favourite cleanser - 

https://www.beautypie.com/all-skincare/cleansers/super-healthy-skin-purifying-cleanser

New Look Lounge Wear and Pjs

Everyone needs a matching set of pretty pyjamas in their lives. There just isn't anything better. I would go as far as saying its up there with the feeling of matching undies, and we all know how fabulous that is ladies. 

So, if you are looking for a new pair of cozies then look no further. My go-to has always been New Look, their sets are to die for. Whether you are looking for long, short or something a little more date night appropriate, New Look offers affordable nightwear that does not lack quality.

When lock down 3.0 was announced I frantically ordered a zillion sets of lounge wear, because really what else am I going to wear to my living room? And, with things looking unlikely to change for a while you too may be in need to update your cozy collection. My personal fave are a pair i was gifted for Christmas. Here I am on Christmas day modelling said Pjs, you can't knock a trier... 

*Sadly, I could not find the link to the set I was gifted but below are links to something similar, happy shopping!

For New look's gorgeous nightwear & lounge wear -

https://www.newlook.com/uk/womens/clothing/nightwear/c/uk-womens-clothing-nightwear

 For similar top - 

https://www.newlook.com/uk/womens/clothing/tops/cream-ribbed-racerback-lounge-vest/p/675713113

For similar bottoms - 

https://www.newlook.com/uk/womens/clothing/nightwear/cream-ribbed-wide-leg-lounge-trousers/p/675715113

For cardigan - 

https://www.newlook.com/uk/womens/clothing/nightwear/cream-ribbed-midi-lounge-cardigan/p/675780813

My book of the moment: Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine.

I used to be an avid reader, I took a level English literature so I spent two years with my head in a lot of books. Admittedly, not all I liked. I mean how much can one really enjoy the Canterbury Tales, there is old English and then there is old English, it made no sense to me. I was never going to get it. However, since having a lot more free time on my hands, I have fallen back in love with reading.

My mum recommended this Gail Honeyman novel to me, as she was by her friends. The book was the winner of the 2017 Costa debut novel award. And rightly so. It did take a long time for me to get round to reading it but, although I am late to the party, I am so glad I decided to give it a whirl. 

The novel focuses on 29-year-old Eleanor Oliphant, a social misfit with a devastatingly tragic past who becomes head over heels for a singer, whom she believes she is destined to be with. It deals with themes of isolation and loneliness, and illustrates Eleanor's transformation journey towards a fuller understanding of self and life. It is a real roller-coaster, so be ready to laugh and cry at the same time. I promise it wont disappoint.

Buy from Waterstones and help to keep our book shops open - 

https://www.waterstones.com/book/eleanor-oliphant-is-completely-fine/gail-honeyman/9780008172145

Welcome!

                                                        

 Hello my loves and welcome! 

I thought that beginning with a short intro, a whats-what on me, would be a bloody lovely place to start. I will also give you the 411 on what to expect from my blog so you can decide whether to invest any of your time into it... no pressure or anything but I would really love it if you did. 

I am from sunny Tunbridge Wells, it is pretty and full of my favourite people but the aim is to eventually see more. I love all things hospitality and digital and look forward to the day I fully find my feet with a career that encapsulates both. But, as for most people , Covid-19 has pressed pause on life and my merry misadventures. I had big plans to see South East Asia and Australia in 2020, I know, could I be any more basic?... Unfortunately, I find myself on furlough for what feels like the zillionth month. However, I'm hopeful that the future will be kinder to us and I will find just where I need to be. But for now, I thought I'd start a new little love project.

Now, there are over 500 million blogs out there. That is a lot of people who probably have a lot more to say than I do. But, I am going to give it a bloody good go anyway. I toyed with so many different styles and ideas, until I realised that it didn't need to be frilly and fancy, I just needed to write about the things that I love and want to share.  Here you’ll be able to have a nose into my monthly must haves, find the prettiest places to explore or we can just have a bit of chit chat. Well, I will be chatting, you will be reading (please do make use of the comment box below if you ever want to add to the convo!).  I’m hoping I will be able to share the good, bad and the fugly. Because let’s face it, life can be a bit of a b*tch sometimes. 

So girls and boys , grab yourself a Pinot (or whatever it is you other people drink) and enjoy!

Abbie x